Have you and your messianic leader been thrown to the lions by the secular media and liberal secular humanistic world? It such a shame that no one else seems to realize the end is near. It’s a travesty really. Billions of people will burn to death in world-wide fire, and every day they at best ignore and at worst laugh at you. If only they would listen!
They tease and taunt, but when it comes down to it, you know in your heart there is nothing wrong with laying down naked with young virgins, whether the heathens realize it or not. Especially the virgins that ask for sex and you deny it to them. These are everyday, normal things a messiah does. Get with it people!
With all of the horrible persecution going on right now, I bet you haven’t had a chance to think about your pets. I know you’re in a hurry, so I’ll keep this short: JesusPets offers a solution for the care of your pets after you’re whisked away to heaven with your Lord.
Please review JesusPets and consider signing up today! Before it’s too late!
If you don’t have time to sign up, please at least put a brightly colored sign in your front window, write “JesusPets” and the number pets you own. This will help JesusPets caretakers find your pets promptly after the rapture.