This is real folks. That unnamed food conglomerate is at it again.

 

You have to realize that some countries are going to take armageddon a little harder than others. The ones that have been around for say 10,000 years have seen it all before and they'll hit the ground running. 250-year-old countries? Eh, not so good.

 

This food conglomerate has operating plans to find your pet in those younger countries, return them for processing, and then use time travel to sell them pre-rapture to a well-known fast food chain.

 

So JesusPets has to beat these guys to the punch or Morgan Spurlock was wiping your Fluffy off the inside of his toilet with a rim cleaner. Yesterday. You don't want that.

 

Sign up for JesusPets, and we will beat these guys to your address.