You might think Jesus was referring to human children since He just called one over to his side. I assume the child walked over to Him with human legs.

 

Some pets also have legs, so maybe he was talking about your pet. Who is going to care for your little ones after you've ascended to your heavenly rewards?

 

Some Christians think the "little ones" might be aborted human foetuses (don't you love that spelling?). Personally, I'm not sure foetuses can walk with legs like pets can. However, if they're right about this whole "foetus has a human soul" thing, then there will be lots of little foetuses everywhere you go in heaven. I think they will probably travel in levitating jars, and they'll look much like those disgusting pictures fundamentalist Christians like to keep handy. You'll sit down to breakfast with Jesus and your Christian ex-girlfriends (won't that be interesting?), and oh, guess who shows up? About 9 foetuses. Why don't they get their own table?

 

Anyway, I digress.

 

Say you're a fundamentalist Christian, and you go to heaven with Jesus during the rapture. This all happens very suddenly, so who knows what you will and won't have prepared. While you're dining with your friends, your cat has finally finished off her entire tray of kitty litter. Now what is she going to eat?

 

The non-fundamentalists left on Earth will be busy rebuilding a civilization with people who don't bomb family planning clinics or protest cancer vaccinations or prevent marriage from being about love or blindly follow maniacal leaders. That's the easy part. The biggest difficulties with all of the fundamentalist Christians out of the picture will be getting our home appliances repaired cheaply and getting easy publicity for provocative art. That's going to be a lot of work, and leave little time to round up starving pets.

 

This is where JesusPets comes in. We are a world-wide partnership of sinners dedicated to caring for your abandoned pets. Will you consider signing up for JesusPets?